Communicating with next of kin during bereavement
An adviser may have already become acquainted with the wider family during a client’s lifetime, but bereavement may call for re-establishing how the next of kin would like to stay in touch.
“It may be that virtual meetings will allow everyone to be kept informed,” says Greenwood. “Or that putting things in writing is more effective, to give loved ones and their support network a chance to digest and reflect on the best course of action.”
Indeed Hannah Coffey, head of vulnerability and client assistance at St James’s Place, dissuades calling unexpectedly.
“Quite often if you’ve faced a bereavement and you’re really struggling with it, when it comes to doing the admin tasks that sit with probate and estate admin, it can feel quite daunting and quite overwhelming.
“What a lot of people will do is they’ll think, 'okay I’m going to meet my financial adviser on Tuesday at 9am', and they compartmentalise. So they’ll say 'okay, I have to dig out the documents and I have to deal with the finances' and be quite switched on for that moment in time. And they’ll probably emotionally set themselves up for it.
“Whereas calling out of the blue and requesting something can be quite hurtful and sad, they can feel very overwhelmed by it in that moment, and probably panic [with] the realisation of what’s going on and the fact that you’ve just lost somebody comes back quite quickly and heavily.
“If you want information from somebody it’s always a better idea to, say, drop them a line or a text message, or pre-arrange a meeting.”
Lorimer says that, in her view, it is essential to establish how the bereaved spouse, child or family member wants to be communicated with. “Some people would rather you pick up the phone, others may find emails too cold at such a sensitive time.
“The first time that I speak to a spouse or a child after a bereavement is to give my condolences first, and give them space to talk about whatever they want to talk about. Some people very much just want to start the formalities, and so I will let them lead that initial conversation.
“Questions should always be asked such as, 'How do you want to be updated?', 'Would you like me to call you, and how often?', 'Would you prefer emails? Or do you want everything in the post – do you want a larger font?'.
