Opinion  

A New Christmas Carol

Simoney Kyriakou

Simoney Kyriakou

McHunt started to panic. His heart beat faster and faster and he reached for the door, but the locks were on.

The driver said nothing, but just stared at him. 

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"I know who you are", McHunt wailed. "You're ... an ... IFA."

The man said nothing, but steered his Tesla towards a long line of people queuing at a bank.

"What's this?" McHunt said, but the driver simply pointed as the door swung open. McHunt got out and walked up and down the line.

There must have been hundreds of people staring anxiously at their bank balances on their phones. He overheard two women talking. "I hope I have some money left", she was saying. "I used to have a lot after my inheritance, but the adviser who was helping me was pushed out of business."

"It's all that additional regulation and fines", said the other woman. "I used to work in insurance and I saw how everything unravelled after the Edinburgh Reforms failed.

"They weren't put in place properly and the regulator could not cope with trying to help the city and trying to help the consumer at the same time. It was on Panorama."

The first woman pursed her lips. "I wish we still had financial advisers. The dashboard was a good idea until some policy whig in Eastminster decided to hijack it for all our financial guidance. I was left without anyone to help me."

"Yeah well if the government can't get the tech right no wonder all our savings have gotten lost", another man volunteered.

"Lost?" said another eavesdropper, who was wearing a tinfoil hat. "You mean the government has borrowed from us to keep the big banks in service."

McHunt turned to the driver, who was still sitting quietly in the car. "What is this? I never legislated for this!"

The driver beckoned him back into the car. Reluctantly, McHunt got in and the pair drove to another location. It was the NEC in Birmingham.

It was full of men and women sitting around in a circle while a Scottish man played "Kumbaya" on an electric guitar.

"What is this?" McHunt hissed through gritted teeth. The spirit pointed to a sign on the wall, which read, 'Former PFS member support group'.

Underneath was an honesty box full of food. 'Take what you need and give what you don't', another sign read. The signs were written on the backs of old CII membership certificates. 

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